In my first blog, I quoted Maya Anjelou: When I know better, I do better. Well, that is a tall order. Just because we know better, does not mean that we do better!! It’s more like, I know better, and now I am at choice to do better. And that choice makes all the difference.
In many instances, we do know better and we do not choose differently. Now, I’m not talking about the fact that sometimes we have the awareness and are simply not ready to do something differently. Or, the habitual patterns are so deep, that even though there is awareness and a recognition of choice, the habits take precedent to the wisdom. In these situations, deep compassion is the balm.
Let’s go back further and look at the concept of I know better. How do we know better. There are a lot of ways but to me the overarching pointer is the experience of dissatisfaction or discontent. This shows up in the way we think and feel and in physical body manifestations that create dis- ease.
Be quiet enough to hear the whispers. What a great way to bring awareness to body, spirit, mind. Few of us in the crazy, busy world we now live in, even know how to be quiet enough, let alone hear the whispers. And so we only begin to hear when the high-speed train comes crashing into us.
I am not speaking here of the suffering that is present just from existing in form in this world. That is inherent. I am pointing to the needless suffering, that we create from our habitual negative patterns, beliefs, thoughts and emotions. One of my clients, a holistic, health doctor, once remarked that only 5% of what goes on for people health-wise is out of their control to change. If this is true, it is a remarkable statistic!! 95% of who we are and what we do has been created by ourselves alone. We should be dissatisfied!!
Let’s take one of the foundations from Quantum Healing. Resentment is a very strong foundation. It often resides in the heart. Resentment is insidious and can eat deeply within the DNA of an individual, often with a sharp edge of bitterness. My safest bet is that we have all experienced resentment in our lives.
It can show up as sibling rivalry growing up in a family where another is perceived to have more. It can be the way an entire family communicates with each other, often characteristic of a substance abuse family. It can certainly appear in the workplace as well as the geopolitical arena. It may mean you were silent when you needed to speak up and are just plain, well, resentful!!
Some of the Quantum Healing foundations are like fish in water. We live in that atmosphere for so long that we believe that atmosphere is reality. One goes about living, breathing and talking resentment. And that negative emotion becomes real and is lodged into the DNA structure itself. Until something changes. Awareness is usually the first clue. Dissatisfaction and discontent become the motivator. Asking for help and support to change is often wise. AND the most important thing is to train the mind.
Training the Mind
In all the spiritual, wisdom traditions, the emphasis is on the evolution of consciousness. The evolutionary process involves as its key element training the mind. The undisciplined, restless mind is like the tiger chasing its own tail. It is at the recognition point that as the negative thought/emotion arises, allow it to simply be there without denial or distraction.
In meditation practice, there is the concept of aversion and attraction. As we put our attention to the practice, the arising and falling of all thought is there. We see that our normal habitual pattern is to either deny and push away (aversion) an experience or become immersed in its story-line or drama (attraction). Acknowledge what is there and then recognize in your awareness, that you can turn the mind toward something wholesome and clear. You can cultivate happiness.
Walking the Radiant Heart Path!
But I don’t have time to meditate!! Meditation does not have to be in the form of sitting on a cushion for an hour or more each day, though that can certainly be helpful. It is simply an awareness in everything we do. So then when resentment shows up, what to do about it. Recognize it for what it is. Investigate its origin and see if there is something or someone needing attending to. Then bring the focus of the mind to a higher state of awareness.
Using breath….. when the resentment arises, in your everyday walking/running state, come back to the focus of the breath. Say a mantra or repetition of a sound, word, bible verse. There is no longer room for the resentment as a state of being when the mind is focused. Get the body moving also: yoga, t’ai chi, martial arts, walking, running, dancing, whatever body movement supports stilling the mind. Don’t live in this resentment.
Walk the radiant heart path and live in well-being. Resentment is small; happiness is large. Pretty soon we experience that the time between knowing better and doing better gets shorter and shorter.